Pregnancy is like having multiple personalities. Seriously. You can literally be happy, sad, hungry, and upset all at the same time.

During pregnancy, I was definitely multiple Kiki’s combined into one. And shoot I loved most of it. You got to just live and be you, while you’re pregnant.

I had a smooth pregnancy, physically. But damn it my emotions were on high.

Pregnancy is being... Upset

When I initially found out I was pregnant, I was upset. I cried often and spent about a month trying to realize that yes I am pregnant and that’s not going to change until 9 months later. There were times I just wanted to hide under my covers in bed because that was my safe space. Although I know my tears weren’t going to solve anything they just felt good. I felt like there wasn’t much else I could do but cry.

So I did.

I would get upset at anything. If my mom said anything slightly negative, if my boyfriend Pop forgot anything I thought was important, when I was hungry but didn’t know what I wanted to eat, if work was giving me bull. I would go from 0 to 100 real quick. What can I say, the hormones had me acting like a crazy lady!

Pregnancy is being... Hungry

Once I came down from being upset at everything, I was hungry all the time. For my first and second trimester I ate like food was going out of style. My stomach was like a black hole for food. I had never been more hungry in my life. Pop and I would go out to eat all the time. I literally got hooked on the food network because of pregnancy. I would see foods on tv and then me and Pop would look in the area for where to get it. It was like the channel made me just have to have it.

I didn’t have those stereotypical cravings you see on tv, but I did love macaroni and cheese. Especially my Mom’s bake macaroni and cheese. That was the greatest thing to me. So much cheesy goodness. My mother would make me pans of macaroni and I would eat the whole pan by myself. Once, I ate macaroni for lunch and dinner 7 days straight. Pop would just look at me like, why wasn’t I tired of macaroni yet.

Pregnancy also makes people want to feed you and I loved every bit of that. Once my friend made me empanadas, which was great because I freaking love empanadas!

So the hunger phase lasted for a while.

Pregnancy is being...Sad

I would feel sad so easily. Let there be a sad moment on a tv show or Netflix, it left me in tears. Sometimes my days were so long because of work or whatever other stresses. I would just come home and cry. I would catch myself getting scared of what was to come with my life changing and I would just cry. Things just made me sad. If Pop said anything that I thought was offensive, I would cry. I don’t even think most things were offensive but I was just so emotional that it didn’t matter.

Pregnancy is being...Sleepy

I was so tired in my second trimester, I could barely keep my eyes open. Pop told me I slept more than “the cat on a loaf of bread in a bodega.” He is so damn silly but he wasn’t lying. I was so tired I wanted to sleep, wake up to eat, then go back to sleep. We would get in the car to go somewhere and I would sleep at a drop of a dime.

The way my job is set up, my apartment is in the same building as my office. At lunch, I would take 10-15 minutes to eat and then I would take a nap for the rest of my lunch. Then I would go back to work and start yawning at around 3pm at my desk. At the end of the work day, I would come home to take an after work nap. I was literally that tired. I couldn’t help it and I also enjoyed it. Before pregnancy I loved to sleep. I naturally just loved naps and being in the security of my bed.

I am glad I enjoyed all those long naps and all the sleep. Especially since you don’t get much sleep with a newborn. I wish I got even more sleep during pregnancy!

Is Pregnancy Affecting Your Mood?...Uhh It Damn Sure Is

While Pregnant…I was Happy (one of my favorite emotions).

So many things made me happy. I was so happy that the hormones from pregnancy + prenatal pills made my hair grow in a healthy way (As a black curl girl this was such a win). If I got my favorite cookie (linzer tart if you must know), or even my mom made me macaroni. One of my students at work, got me my favorite cookie and it was like the greatest thing that could happen to me in life! I was just so damn happy about it.

If Pop said something or did something sweet. It would make me feel all good inside. I was so happy when my Mom made me feel supported. My friends would make me laugh until I cried tears. I just felt the love all around. I loved every bit of being in a good mood.

Sometimes I was all these things at once or hit with these emotions back to back. For example there was that time I was upset because I was so hungry. Pop was making breakfast and this man decides to make me biscuits and turkey bacon. Do you know he places the turkey bacon in the oven while he was cooking something else on the stove and left the turkey bacon to burn in the oven! I was so upset. I wanted that turkey bacon so bad I cried. Apparently I also told him he might be a bad father in the future to come because he burnt the bacon. See how crazy emotions can have a pregnant lady. (Yea, that was a bad one.)

Hey I blamed it on the hormones or I would say this food isn’t for me, it’s for the baby. And it worked. People really do want you to feel good so that the baby can be good.

I know I drove poor Pop crazy but he did a great job at handling my mixed emotions. He tried to learn the different personalities and moods. Poor him, I would be all over the place he could barely keep up with me. He never knew if my tears were happy or upset because I ate all my food so fast.