Have you ever been scared to make a mistake? You just wanted it to come out perfect? This is how I felt about motherhood.
If you are someone who is passionate about motherhood, you’re in a similar boat as me. All you can do is your best. Just try your hardest to do the right thing for your kid and you will do this mothering thing right. You will have your lightbulb mom moment.
About a week and a half after my son was home from the hospital, my mom was over the house. My son, Pudding was sleeping. We were talking and I don’t remember about what. I probably started this conversation in my head, you know, doing the over thinking thing. But on the outside I started to cry. I told my mom I never wanted to do something right so badly in my life. I wanted to do right by my kid. I wanted to be the best Mom I could be.
You Have A Million Questions
I was scared…
How would I know if I am doing this right?
How would I know what to do?
What he needed?
What his cries meant?
I’ve never been a Mom, how would I know what needs to be done?
These questions were running through my head. I know many new moms have a similar experience.
No matter your experiences prior with siblings or cousins you may have helped raised. Your child is your child and it’s a completely different feeling. It’s not that you have done anything wrong to be in the bad mom boat. It’s just fear mixed with passion, that you want to do a good job so bad. This is the one thing in life you don’t want to mess up.
The moment I looked at my son
I wanted to be the best Mom I could for him.
The Lightbulb Mom Moment
Then my Mom hugged me and a wave of tears continued to come over me. I cried because of the passion to want to do the right thing. I’m the type of person that likes to know what I’m doing before I commit to something. And if I don’t, I try to figure it out. But pregnancy had me off my game.
Motherhood was uncharted territory. My normal routine of tackling life was on pause. I wasn’t sure how to move forward. My Mom told me
“No one knows what they’re doing at first. But your natural mom instincts will kick in.”
See my Mom was with me and my boyfriend, Pop the whole time during labor and delivery. She reminded me about a moment from in the hospital, when they moved us to the “Mommy and Baby” room after my son was born. My son was in his bassinet next to my hospital bed, my Mom on a couch to my right and Pop on my left. We were all finally falling asleep and then a few moments later my little Pudding started to whimper into a small cry. My Mom woke up and from her chair she saw that I already got up to tend to my son. She told me from then she knew that I would be okay.
She knew my mom instincts had kicked in. I was tired and in pain for hours from labor and all I wanted to do was sleep. Although I closed my eyes for maybe 10 minutes, I was wide awake when my son needed me.
Her telling me this story, meant the world to me because I hadn’t even realized this moment myself. This moment was the cornerstone of my motherhood.
This story was my lightbulb. Even though I didn’t know what was to come, I knew that I had to learn to trust myself. I had to trust that I would make mistakes, get some things correct and I will always learn from each experience. Finding that “it will be okay” feeling in me, will be what keeps me pushing through my fear and doubtful moments. Thankfully that’s Pop’s favorite line too. He literally says it for absolutely everything in life. His positivity can be so necessarily annoying but definitely what I need to balance me out in life.
For the Win (conclusion)
When my son was born I vowed to be the best mother I could be to him. Whatever I have to do in order to do that, I will.
As a new mom you may be scared, nervous or unsure of what’s to come and trust we’ve all felt this way. It’s okay to share your fears with your significant other, family and friends. Lean on them. They want to support you. Reach out to other moms (or me!) because we completely understand the feeling. Sometimes it takes some help or just a little cheering up to know that you’ve got this.
Just admitting you’re scared is the first step to becoming a great mom. So you’re on the right track.
But don’t fear. As long as you try your hardest to do what is best, what is right, and trust your motherly instincts you will be the best mom for your kid.
Are you nervous about doing this mommy thing right? What’s your lightbulb mom moment? I’d love to hear!
