“One thing about Motherhood is, it’s less about what you say and more about what you do..” -MÉA
Let me tell you a little story about a Mom that helped me in my transformation to Motherhood. A Mom that is undeniably like NO other. This mother much like myself was raised up understanding that Women are the stronghold of their families. She took her childhood and adulthood tools to be the best Mother she can be.
As a full-time Mom, Wife, and Boss she not only allowed trials and tribulations to help her grow and succeed. But continued to be the most loving, spiritually, mentally and physically connected Mom. She is selfless all while knowing the balance to being self-aware.
The interview you’re about to dive into not only tip the surface into Mommy insight but it damn near exploded the iceberg. Enjoy!
Mom Interview Part 1
Profile: Mother to 3 beautiful girls, ages: 8, 5 and 4
(Pregnancy)
Q: What was the hardest part about being pregnant?
MÉA: One thing to note is every pregnancy is different. I didn’t get morning sickness like that, my first pregnancy was textbook pregnancy. My delivery was a little theatrical, haha. The only thing was my iron was low and I would pass out in random places. I passed out in the supermarket, baseball games, and in the house. My iron levels would get low, I would get woozy and I would pass out. They placed me on iron pills and that pretty much solved that. But that was towards the ending, maybe at like 10 weeks left.
Second pregnancy, I learned a lot from the first one. I hated taking the iron pills so I was like we’re going to go in on the greens. We’re going to get all my green vegetables and fiber all my vitamin C. I ate really well. I tried to take care of myself and the good thing I did because I lost a lot of blood. I had to be taken in an ambulance to the hospital while I was in labor. I had a traumatic birthing experience. So traumatic that honestly, I wasn’t sure if this was something I wanted to do again. I didn’t really want to.
But, ha you don’t get to choose what God has for you. And when I delivered I wasn’t at the hospital I signed up to be in. There was a snowstorm and the whole city was shut down. I ended up at a hospital with doctors I didn’t know. Literally asking me to tie my tubes when I was on the table. And me being like please just deliver my baby because we didn’t have this talk beforehand.
My third pregnancy was the hardest. I had to stop working around 30 weeks. Then my cervix opened prematurely I ended up on bed rest. It was a lot okay! Her delivery was pretty smooth sailing, textbook delivery. Thank God because the pregnancy was absolutely the opposite. See every pregnancy is different in a nutshell.
Q: What advice would you give other women about pregnancy?
MÉA: One thing I want to mention with pregnancy is, it’s very important to have someone to support you. Like with my husband, I don’t even know how I would have done it without him honestly. Even being in the hospital and not being able to talk. I was in pain and at a hospital that no one knew me and they didn’t have my records and they didn’t have a way to get it. I had to have him be an advocate. Every pregnancy he’s had to be an advocate for me. Tell the nurses what I want and what I need. And make sure that they’re doing it because they try to act like they don’t hear you sometimes.
It’s different every single time. Another thing is you have to know your own limitations. Don’t allow anyone to be like “Oh girl, I work 9 months until the baby pops out”. People come with their different stuff. And it’s like “Okay, I ’m glad that worked for you”.
I couldn’t work, I couldn’t do anything. I was on bed rest. Sometimes that’s how it happens for some people. It’s like it is what it is. Don’t judge yourself for what other people can do. Listen to your body, because the minute you get pregnant you’re already a Mom. You have to make decisions not only for you but for the child that’s within you.
That’s the biggest thing, follow your own judgment, and listen to your body.
Get into a good relationship with it so that you can never be too cautious. Having an advocate for giving birth and throughout the whole pregnancy.
(Motherhood)
Q: What is the best part about being a Mom?
MÉA: The best part for me is the joy you get from watching them grow up. Teaching them new things and when you realize that they’ve learned it or that they got it.
One thing about Motherhood is, it’s less about what you say and more about what you do. And your kids are literally like a mirror to you and how you interact with the world around you.
MÉA
You know, if you’re kind to them during their times of need, even when it’s hard. Sometimes you have your own needs and your needs may not be getting met. And sometimes you find yourself getting short with them when they have a tantrum or whatever. But they get to learn you and you get to learn them. And they know the right things to say to you and you know the right things to say to them.
Building that bond and that relationship that you know that’s the best part. Seeing bits and pieces of yourself in another human being. Having them model back to you the child-like innocence you once had, that’s beautiful. It’s seeing the world through their lens.
Q: What’s a special moment that stands out about each of your children?
MÉA: With my oldest, what stands out most is she was very precocious, she’s always been. Like you know very fast. She did everything fast. You know from talking to singing, to walking, to being very expressive. She was very expressive within months of birth. As my mother would say, “If I only had her I would probably feel robbed.” Because she was not a baby that long, she was not with the babying stuff.
The one thing that stands out with her, is my husband and how the dynamics of our relationship changed. I was with him 5-6years of getting pregnant. I always knew he loved children and he would be a great dad but you don’t know until you have a kid you know what I’m saying haha.
So you have the child and I saw him literally transform before my eyes into a dad. It made me look at my life differently. There was a lot I had to check and change. Being someone who grew up in a single-parent home where the dad wasn’t as hands-on. In the case of bathing a baby and things like that, I’m thinking that’s Mommy’s job.
My husband was so hands-on. He wanted to be so immersed in doing her hair, everything, every aspect of her care. I had to check myself a few times like, Mommy shark was like, “yo back up”..haha. But I realized that was a personal thing. That was the first time that it became apparent to me that I wasn’t in this alone. I had to learn to not be in it alone and not emulate what I saw growing up. But really I have help.
With my second child, I had to ask the doctor if she was okay. The reason I say that is because my oldest is so talkative, that when my second child came she was so quiet. The total opposite in terms of personality that I was literally scared. I didn’t know what was normal, like whats normal development. The doctor was like “she’s good, she’s fine, leave her alone.” I’m like “I’m not bothering her. I don’t make her feel bad. I’m concern and I brought it up to you as a concern”. I was scared like am I doing something wrong, is there something I need to do. But she’s a totally different personality.
My youngest baby, (sigh) is a very big personality, a boss baby, very witty. Moments that stand out is not wanting to be left out even though she’s a tiny baby. She made me realize okay. She has a sister that is 18months older than her. And she still wanted to be apart of everything her sisters were doing. From I say maybe 6 months on. I had to learn how to include her in everything. How to not treat her like the baby, sitting in a highchair while I work with the others.
Q: What is the one thing you never had that you want for your kids?
MÉA: Having them raised in a two-parent household with their mom and their dad. That’s something that I didn’t get to have. I had it for a little bit, up until I was like 4 or 5. I wanted that family unit. A dynamic where we all have the same last name. You know, I wanted that for my kids because I didn’t know what that was like.
Well, that was a huge adjustment for me. I remember when my husband and I started dating I told him “if I ever get pregnant don’t rush to marry me because I might say no, okay…haha, I still have a choice and options and I’m independent. If the relationship isn’t worth it then it doesn’t make sense for you to try to be a family, when we aren’t good. If a baby comes the baby comes and we can co-parent”.
You don’t have control over everything but that’s how it worked out. But that’s something I’m giving them that I didn’t have.
Q: What’s the hardest thing about being a Mom?/What is your biggest fear as a Mother?
MÉA: Balance
In the beginning, I was a nervous break. First of all, you have three babies back to back, for like 6 years straight. You’re either nurturing a baby, breastfeeding baby or all three simultaneously. It’s a lot on your mental, emotions, your mind, everything. Even being sleep deprived and I’m not one that does well with little sleep. But it’s hard to do sleep wholesomely with small children. You’re always like ooh baby crying, oh they need to be changed or noise will prompt you.
I’m now starting to get deep sleep, kind-of. That’s hard. I feel it’s hard to balance. Finding time to myself but over time, with practice, I learned. Okay, I got 2 weeks before grandma needs to come to scoop them up for the day or their cousin for a few hours. I know when my mommy-meter starts ticking. I get grouchy and it’s like okay we need a break.
My oldest one would say to my husband “I think you and mommy need a break so we can go to grandma house”. She would say, “so when you’re taking your wife out”. And she’ll say “Mommy we need a break and you need a break” and I’m like I agree we do haha.
That’s the hardest part, balancing the needs of the whole house and your own.
You gotta fill your cup up first before you can help anybody. And I’m learning.
I would say in the last year or two I’ve started to realize what my centering is. People think self-care is monthly massages or girls’ night, and that’s cool. Let me be honest, it’s a matter of getting back to your center and knowing what your center is.
For me, I’m a creative person so I need space and time to be able to create something. Dance or sing or write or do something creative. That’s what gets me to center. Once I figure that out after a long time of being away from it. I’m like okay, I need to go to a dance class, I need to go for a walk. Exercise is important. I need to eat well today. It’s a combination of a lot of things, not just outward pleasures. I need to fast today. I need to pray. I need a moment of meditation.
Check out Part 2 of the Mommying the MÉA Way Interview here
You May Like:
