Mommying the MÉA Way Part 2

“One thing about Motherhood is, it’s less about what you say and more about what you do..” -MÉA

Let me tell you a little story about a Mom that not only helped me in my transformation to Motherhood. A Mom that is undeniably like NO other. This mother much like myself was raised up understanding that Women are the stronghold of their families. She took her childhood and adulthood tools to be the best Mother she can be.

As a full-time Mom, Wife, and Boss she not only allowed trials and tribulations to help her grow and succeed. But continued to be the most loving, spiritually, mentally, and physically connected Mom. She is selfless all while knowing the balance to being self-aware.

The interview you’re about to dive into not only tip the surface into Mommy insight but it damn near exploded the iceberg. Enjoy!

If you haven’t read Part 1 of this interview, please check it out! Part 2 is the icing on the cake!

Part 2

Q: What is your biggest fear as a Mother?

MÉA: My biggest fear is..and this is real..messing this whole thing up.

You know, having three different children, three different personalities, three different sets of needs. My goal is to prepare them for the life that God is preparing them for. Help them understand what a wide range of things in life are. Kind of walk them through it, guide them as best I can until they’re able to do it on their own. Literally prepare them for life as soon as possible. That’s my goal. To me their little people.

My fear is that I’m not able to do that. Maybe through lack of resources, or lack of knowledge or lack of wisdom about something. And I pray a lot of prayers too God to give me wisdom, give me some insight on that, on how can I adequately prepare them for the future He have for them. Not what I want but what you show me that they have potential to be.

And you know, how do I encourage them. How do they learn best? What environments do they thrive in? What do they need; how do they show love; how do I show love to them best in a way that they show it to me. All those things.

Q: Whats something you miss about the life before children?

MÉA: This is an easy question to answer, being able to come and go as I damn well please, you feel me hahaha. Like wake up and go somewhere and go you know. Not have to worry about all these other things that have to be in place before I go.

Simple stuff like, number one: where they’re going to go or who is going to come and watch them. If it’s where they’re going to go, then I have to figure out what we’re going to wear. I have to do three sets of hair. I have to prep and prepare, do all this stuff to get them where they’re going go. Then I go where I got to go. Then, depending on who therewith I have to go, come back, pick them up, get home, and chill.

I remember when I would go for massages or something, that would be my pet-peeve. I say babe if I’m having a day of relaxation it has to be a day that you’re home. Because the whole prepping of getting out of the house is not relaxing. Then I have to pick them up after relaxing massage. That ain’t relaxing. So I would choose to go on days where he’s home that way all I have to do is go and come back and chill. So that has to be the thing I miss most about before being a Mom.

Q: Have you ever thought goodness I cant do this, and why?

MÉA: What, Yes, many times a day, every day, its moments in time; it’s not all day. Very rarely it’s all day. If it’s all day then, shorty you need a break. You’re doing too much, sit your tail down somewhere. That’s when it’s intense. Like okay, I’ve been with them two, three weeks all day. Because to hear my solitude, to hear quiet in the house it’s like I’m in heaven.

A lot of people don’t understand. There are times when we get invited to things as a family and I’m like “hey babe, do you mind taking them and I’ll stay home”. Before I used to think we all got invited, we all need to go together. Now, I’m like oh we got invited to an ugly sweater party, aight this would be fun for y’all.

I will be at home, cleaning up, doing whatever I want to do; listening to music, sit in total complete silence. I just want to hear my own thoughts. I promise by the time y’all get back sometimes, not all the time, I may have done something like decorating the house, mop the floor or something like that.

(side-note)

You have to be intentional about making time for yourself because if you don’t you can easily lose your shit. And I mean that in the kindest way possible. And not even realize that you’re gone. Like oh my God, who am I? Whose that? Sometimes it feels like you stepped outside of your own body for a second haha. So you have to try to make time to at least hear your thoughts; hear what your body needs.

Q: What is the most rewarding part about being a mother?

MÉA: Learning. Being challenged. It’s rewarding. When you’re faced with a challenge and seeing you overcame it. It’s rewarding to get through to your child. Rewarding to see them recognize me and then want to do something for me. It makes me realize they love me and care about me. Thereof age that they can actually show it.

I’ll tell you a time we were remodeling the house and my daughters came across a stuff-animal from my uncle that died. It was supposed to get thrown away. My baby asked me “Mommy are you sad? No, no, no we’re not throwing this away. Mommy you don’t have to do it. I said, “It’s okay with me I understand it has good memories.” My middle child said, “are you sure?” I said “yes”. The next day, my daughter got it out of the trash and wouldn’t throw it away. She wasn’t playing, lol.

Another time, we were at a jungle gym and my oldest daughter wanted to climb it. She’s like “I’m not getting on that”. I’m like “We’re going to do this”. Once she got on it, she was like “Mommy look, I believed in myself. It’s only scary because it’s new and now it’s not new so I can do it again. I have confidence.” She’s self-motivated. When she feels herself getting sick, she comes to me and says “Mommy can I have tea and honey and cayenne.” We do affirmations and to see them do it on their own, is amazing.

Q: Anyone special you’d like to thank for helping you through parenthood?

MÉA: The lord, my husband. You gotta know what’s your stuff and what’s relationship stuff

My mom, many times she had to put me in my place, with my relationship and parenting. She reads me in the right way. The 8th grade me, that feels defensive; when you get triggered so you act a certain way. She would tell me things like you have to let him help; you can’t treat him like that; you can’t say that. You have to loosen up a bit with your expectations, how you discipline your children you have help. You’re a team.

Q: If you could give one piece of advice to your younger Mom self advice, what would it be?

MÉA: Definitely, every child is different. They have their own paths in life. Be open to learn and let down your own guard.

Release your own expectations or bias. What bearings does that have on, if they will grow up to do God’s will, or if they will be a good person? You can’t base things on one area. Every child is a whole individual, spiritual emotional, and mental. Learn to love them on all levels.

You may not click on everything with your child but let your child be who they are. Every child is their own person. The inward stuff like mom guilt, release yourself mom guilt. Give yourself credit where credit is due.