I’ve been wrestling with my emotions and thoughts now for days. With all the videos, photos, and everything I’m reading it’s hard to not feel angry, upset, sad, in pain, and then fearful. It brings me back to when I found out I was having a baby boy. As an NYC kid, I’ve seen the disrespect of black people and the disrespect of our lives by cops plenty of times. Now I was bringing a black boy into the world and only God knows his path. All I could do it pray for him, his life, against generational curses and everything that would be against him growing up to be a beautiful black man. Because being black has never been easy.
Although he’s only 2, he doesn’t know the weight that has already been placed on his shoulders. I pray that God allows me to remove this piece by piece. And replace it with love, peace, and an understanding of God. I know the world may not love him but God does. He was beautifully made and will continue to outshine the evil that exists in this world.
So I wrote this love letter to my 2yr old son. Really to myself and the world…
Dear My Little Love,
My little Potato who is beautifully made from head to toe. With the most precious face, that God could have ever blessed me and your daddy with. We love you. I tell you every day because I’ve seen what happens when a child is unloved. When a child hasn’t been told they are loved by their parents and I made a promise to myself and God when you were conceived that I’d do everything in my power to make your life twice as better as my own and those that came before me. My love, you are the most intelligent little boy I’ve ever known. Only at 2yrs old you know so much, you laugh so loud, your bold and brave, you know exactly what you want and when you want it.
Even Mommy at your age wasn’t as strong as you. Although your youthful fearlessness exists, Mommy still loves when you cling on to me. It’s because I know you feel safe. It’s because I know that my love for you is so loud it jumps right out of me and on to you.
My love, my love Mommy has so many names for you, it’s because I just simply can’t choose. Every time you do something new I’m amazed at how God has blessed you. You have so much personality. You radiate like the sun. When people see your smile and those beautiful large brown eyes they’re drawn to you.
I pray you never lose this. When you were very little, I knew those beautiful eyes stared into the depths of people. I thought you were looking into their hearts to see if they were genuine. And even now those beautiful brown eyes are filled with, love, joy, and happiness.
Although you’re still little in just a few time, Mommy and Daddy will have to sit you down and give you some heavy news. News about the world that isn’t very nice. I know right now your world is playing with cars, running through the grass, and watching that blaze show you love. When anyone meets you they can see the warmth that lives within you and they can’t help but love you.
But this will change as you continue to grow. Remember when I told you, You will be bigger like Daddy? Yup, it will be as you get bigger, the same people who saw the warmth in your eyes will now see something else. It won’t be your fault but if not for their own selves, because we’ve all got our own minds and our own thoughts.
Although I continuously pray that the world will change by this time. It’s hard to know if it truly will so Mommy and Daddy will still have to give you this talk. To start to prepare you for war. Although you don’t want to fight, it, unfortunately, is one that you are born into. But don’t worry God will prepare you.
I know this is a lot right now, so I won’t go too deep until that time. Only because I want the world you see to last as long as possible. I want you to hold on to the peace that exists for you. Hold on to it as long as you can because there is an evil that is already trying to take it from you. Mommy and Daddy will do anything to protect you from it.
My love, my little Potato, continue to be you. From your beautiful brown eyes, your brown sandy super curly hair, your button nose, and loving smile. How could anyone not love you? You will go through things in life but it will only make you stronger and wiser. You will bring joy and life to every room you enter.
And Mommy promise, we will be by your side every step of the way.
YOU’RE SO LOVED!!!!!
It will be the love that will carry you from now until forever. I love you beyond words 😘
Love you always and forever
Mommy
